Well CRAP.

I got a new layout for my blog that I really like, but the awesome header Squirrel Queen made me is gone.

Crap.

Maybe I’ll make a new one….or get peanutfanatic to make me one…she’s getting better at graphic design.

I’m writing a Horror Novel.

Basically, it includes a lesbian couple, mysterious, painful scars that appear out of nowhere, and magical ex-boyfriend from college out for revenge.

Sounds pretty dull right now, but once I’m finished, it might actually turn into something. I doubt it; it’ll probably rot in my computer memory for all of eternity like all of my other unfinished stories. I’ll look back on it a few weeks later, and think, “good god that was stupid,” and delete it.

I don’t think I’ll post it here for fear of someone stealing it. Heck, I’m just a preteen, who’s gonna steal writing from me anyways? I’m just paranoid. If you really want to read it, which I doubt, then you can email me.

Razor bumps or pimples? Or bug bites?

I shaved in the shower this morning, and when I got out and dried off, there were these weird, red things that look like bug bites or pimples. I asked peanutfanatic what razor bumps were, and she told me what they look like. If I could post a picture of them, I would…but I need to know what you think they are, if you could tell me.

Thanks.

NOT EVERYONE IS A CHRISTIAN.

Sure, a lot of people are.

That gives you no right, Retarded girl At School, to assume that I was Christian, and acting shocked when I said no.

:/

My, my, deviantart users…

Well done genius. Whilst browsing my vast collection of shotguns, you made the fantastic error of flipping the safety off one of them. Feeling an itch in your balls and with no hands free you decide to scratch your vitals with the gun nozzle.

And now you’ve just gone and shot your junk all over my floor.

Ignoring all the more pressing issues, such as receiving urgent medical attention, how are you going to explain this to your family / spouse / partner? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t like anyone to know that you’ve just become the latest recipient of a Darwin award, so you need to think fast whilst I’m mopping your balls off my floor to think of something credible to save your reputation around the town.

(Women are more than welcome to part part using Situation B: you shoot off a boob.)

—-
Hilarious forum on deviant art.

I Should Be in Bed

…but I’m not. Why? Because I just finished watching “The Shining”, and it totally freaked me out. And I’m not really tired. Okay…maybe I am, but there are some things I need to straighten out before I go to bed, and I don’t think I’ll actually be asleep until twelve thirty or later. :/

Oh. My. god.

I read some of my old emails, a couple of old blog posts, and some things said between peanutfanatic and me. I literally scoffed and lol’d at myself. I realized how dumb and stupid I sounded a long time ago. Although, I probably sound stupid now. Don’t you just hate it when you think you are sounding intelligent, but when you read back over something, you sound like the World’s Biggest Loser? Cause I sure do, and it’s happened several times.

“So, uh…what did you do in georgia?” “Two words: Daredevil cousin.”

My cousin CJ is an adventure seeking, crazy, acts too old for his age, LOOKS too old for his age, muscle-y daredevil. Boy, if you ever met him…I was in georgia for a couple of days on our way to Florida, too see everyone and help out my grandparents. All was good and fun. When I went swimming, and my aunt and cousins got out of the car, I almost asked my aunt who that tall kid was.

Turns out it was CJ.
He looks nothing like he used to, and he acts nothing like he used to. This is not good or bad, I would say. But dang! He showed me a video on his cell phone where he did a backflip off of his roof into the pool, and did a “Run in Thirty” game with his friends. And when I was at the playground, he used the ropes on the swings to get to the top, where he almost fell. Try lifting yourself up on two ropes. With only your hands. Not easy, but CJ made it look that way. Three years ago…he couldn’t do that at all.

We went to his other grand mother’s house after we went to WalMart. Eggnog wanted to ride in the golf cart, and not wanting to miss out, I decided to go with them. CJ went in the pasture, and around into the woods. Me and Eggnog were pretty freaked out, because CJ went around those curves so fast the thing almost tipped. And we were riding away from my younger cousin, and CJ went up this Huge hill, and flew down it. We got some serious air. Then he went into another forest, and I scraped my hand on a thorn bush. Then we almost ran over a turtle. =/

All in all, CJ is a pretty awesome cousin. He’s quite rude and a little too outspoken, but he’s cool, I guess. I won’t see him for another three years probably, and I’m a little scared to see what sixteen year old CJ is like.

Warning: DO NOT MIX SOGGY SAND AND SEAWEED!

It is the most horrible, most disgustingly nasty smell you will ever inhale.

EW.
I discovered this whilst on vacation. O_O

From Joy to Shock

As you know, my dad flushed out a newborn deer. The minute I saw it, I knew that I was somehow going to take care of it.

And it happened. So…that night, he was so weak, he couldn’t lift his head up. We mixed together some baby formula for him, and fed it through a spoon to him. The poor little thing hooked my heart to him. I pet him, and rubbed his little neck (even though he shivered every time I did out of pure fear) and tried to make him feel comfortable. I thought we were bringing him up to our house. I was crushed to hear we weren’t. So when they said they would lock him in the bathroom, I immediately volunteered to stay with him. So that’s how it went.

I didn’t think it would be that bad. Read a little Stephen King (which eventually made me so scared the second night I had to move to the bed), sleep a little here and there, and watch him sleep.
No.
Not even close.
I went to bed around nine or ten. I had a few blankets laid out on the bathroom floor, and crawled into the them. Bambi curled up a little closer to me, because we had bonded after I fed him for the first time that night. I opened my book, and started to read. I eventually got REALLY tired, and it wasn’t even eleven yet. I had had a friend over all day, and she’s the kind of person to never stop moving. So yes, I was tired. and then when i fell asleep, it was only an hour. I woke up by myself at midnight. Bambi kept sucking on my chin, so I went to get his bottle.

I wasn’t really sure how to put it together yet, so I woke up my grandpa. He helped me feed the hyper little deer. I was smiling when I put the milk syringe into the corner of his mouth. And when his eyes just lit up and he swallowed the milk, oh, I was stuck like glue. After that, I went back to bed, exhausted. I crashed with Bambi curled up with his head in the crook of my arm. I felt something licking my face and woke up. Guess who I saw? You guessed it: Bambi.

So I went and woke up my grandpa again, and we fed the little boy, this time giving him some water. I was not tired now, surprisingly, so I read my book for another two hours, until five o’ clock. At five, I got a bottle together by myself for the deer, who took it gratefully after sleeping solidly. I watched him eat, and smiled as I FINALLY got him to take the bottle. I went back to lay down, but then I realized: I was tired. I crawled into the bed with Bambi in my arms again, and tried to sleep. At eight, Dad walked in.

The Grandparents and Dad starting talking, and came in and told me that I was going to have to give him to a wildlife society. I cried. A lot. Yes, because I loved that little deer. I had only had one day with him, but it felt like a long time, after that night. And Bambi kept trying to lick the tears off of my face. So I fed him. Later, Dad told me I wouldn’t have to give him up until tomorrow. I practically screamed with joy. I could keep him for another day! Then the shock hit.

That night I did the same thing, except I slept in a bed. Bambi was even more cute about wanting food that night. The next morning I was EXHAUSTED. I had to get up, get ready, help Bambi follow me around (he was still wobbly on his little legs. ), and eat breakfast. I did all of that, and then it came time to take my baby away from me.

We got into the car, and put Bambi into a little pink basket for him to stay in for the ride there. I tried to hold back tears, but it really wasn’t working. I didn’t want him to go. But I stayed on the positive side the whole way there, petting my little boy and telling him I loved him. And laughing at how he crawled into my lap to look out the window! =)

When we got there, my heart was in my throat. I saw a LOOSE COYOTE, and LOOSE DEER on the other side, and that totally freaked me out. I waited on Dad to check with the lady, and came back and told me to bring him in. I lifted Bambi out of the car, and walked into the building. It was a nice place, and I was confident they would take good care of him. The minute I walked in the door, my baby was snatched away from me and brought downstairs before I had a chance to wave goodbye. I can still picture him kicking the lady and his ears flying back, wanting to get back to me.

I immediately burst into tears, turning my back to them and trying not to cry. I didn’t succeed. My mom sort of held me while Eggnog watched a hyper squirrel crawl around in his little cage. I stayed with my mom like that as my pure hatred for that lady built up. I had to feel it, there was no other way. I pulled away, and my mom was crying, too. That made me feel worse. I couldn’t quit, and felt like a five year old who couldn’t get a sucker. =/ And then my dad said, probably still pretty pissed, “You could have given her ten seconds to say goodbye.” That made me cry harder, partially happy he said something about it. Soon I (attempted) to stop crying, and make sense of it. I figured I could come back to see him at some point, to check on him and his growth. All hope of that was lost as soon as this happened:

My mom asked the lady at the front desk, “Could she go down and see where they keep the fawns, to see if Bambi’s all right?” She very rudely said, “No, ma’am, no one is allowed downstairs.” Then my mom made a mad sigh, and asked, “Well…is there a way for her to email you to see how he’s doing?” and the lady said no. I cried really hard then, and my mom said, “Let’s go.” I agreed, and we left. I sped up, and got into the van quickly. I didn’t want to see anyone right then. As soon as I got into the van, I broke down. I really couldn’t help it. They were so mean to me.

Then my grandma came in, and wrapped her arms around me, crying herself. All the girls in the family really were crying today, missing my baby. I loved him, and won’t get him back.

It hurts. I want him back so bad.

But I know he’s happy.
I’ll love you forever, Bambi!